Zen and the Art of Making Money

1996 – Once upon a time in Islington… I find myself struggling to survive on meagre social security. Meditating on how to help myself find right livelihood, in poor health and without capital I have found an idea to sell; the work of art to make more money, the money to make more art.


Now the first point to make is that even if this is all totally bull-shit, just a weirdo’s fantasy, and I never get around to making the designs up in actual wood and metal, and never sweet-talk any suckers into paying over the odds for a few bits and pieces by the strategem of labelling them as art. The fact remains that if one were to follow my instructions as laid out here it would work.

People really would get rich, and have a big laugh, and do a lot of good, and not harm anyone, and not get assassinated, arrested, locked in an asylum, nor sneered at on the street, and a lot of pompous men in suits would be shown up as fools, and they could laugh with us at themselves, and we’d all live happily ever after and the world would be a better place.

The book you’re holding will make me rich enough to drink myself into oblivion in expensive bars in nice places and the next round is on me if you care to drop by and swap lies sometime, so it really has worked anyway hasn’t it, and you really will learn some sound principles for doing business and you really haven’t been conned, what with me being a zen monk.

if you’ve read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, well I have owned a bike and I have been obsessed by defining the ineffable and I am an amnesiac writing in an attempt at self-therapy.

If you’ve read Zen and the Art of Archery, well I am a genuine marksman and small-bore rifle target shooting was my first experience of meditation before it had crossed my mind that meditation was possible, let alone desirable.

If it is, so this book belongs on the shelf next to them doesn’t it, so you might as well read a bit further if only to satisfy yourself that I’m really only conning you still, and anyway you might learn how to pull a fast one on existence and get what you want without manking any effort, so why not stop reading the interminable circular introduction and check out the book itself?

Number 28 in the series


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